Humor-topic

[massy]

Why are Pirates called Pirates?

Because they AAaarrrggghhhh!



oh man, die is zo slecht.

inderdaad

[massy]

What's brown and sticky?








A stick

[massy]

How does an idiot call for his dog?
He puts two fingers in his mouth and then yells "Rover!".

[massy]

Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bar tender says, "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate says, "Arrrg, it's driving me nuts."

[massy]

two goldfish are in a tank, one says to the other "you man the guns, i'll drive!"

[massy]

What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling."

[massy]

what is the difference between love, true love and showing off ??
























spit, swallow and gargle

[massy]

Why is ten afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

[massy]

A priest, a rabbi, a redneck, and a blonde walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

[massy]

One day Billy's parents took him to the Circus to see all of the clowns. He was so excited! He never saw one up close before! In the middle of the show, a tiny little car came out and out came 20 clowns! He was cheering so loud he couldn't speak for a couple minutes. Just then, the Leader of the Clowns took a microphone and asked for a volunteer. Billy raised his hand and shouted ''Me! Me!'' The clown looked around and said ''You!'' as he pointed at Billy. He was so happy!

Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown looked down at him and asked, ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy said ''No...'' ''Are you the horse's ears?'' ''No...'' Then the clown got an evil look in his eye as he said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' The whole tent shook with laughter, and Billy cried his eyes out. He couldn't believe a clown made fun of him like that! He swore revenge!

Billy grew up, he went to college, got a job, got married, and had a few kids, but still never forgot what that clown did to him. One morning he saw an ad in the paper for the same circus, and decided to go. He knew the PERFECT insult to get him back! When he told his wife and kids he was going his kids asked if they could goto the circus with him. He calmly said ''No. Daddy has something he needs to do there.'' In the middle of the show, a little car came out and out came about 20 clowns. The crowd cheered, except for Billy. The Leader of the Clowns took a microphone. It was the same Clown! Billy was so excited that he could now get revenge!

The clown asked for a volunteer. Billy calmly raised his hand. The clown picked him! Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown said ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy stayed calm and said ''No.'' The clown asked ''Are you the horse's ears?'' Billy replied ''No.'' Then the clown said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!''

Billy knew his time had come. As the crowd laughed and everyone cheered, his anger grew. Now was the time for revenge. He looked deep into the clown's eyes and said...

''F*ck you, Clown.''

[massy]

Two peanuts are walking down a dangerous street
One was a salted

[massy]

where do u find a dog with no legs?



right where you left him!

[massy]

how many male chauvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?







none! let the bitch cook in the dark

[massy]

what kind of bees make milk?


boo-bees

[Tomski]

One day Billy's parents took him to the Circus to see all of the clowns. He was so excited! He never saw one up close before! In the middle of the show, a tiny little car came out and out came 20 clowns! He was cheering so loud he couldn't speak for a couple minutes. Just then, the Leader of the Clowns took a microphone and asked for a volunteer. Billy raised his hand and shouted ''Me! Me!'' The clown looked around and said ''You!'' as he pointed at Billy. He was so happy!

Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown looked down at him and asked, ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy said ''No...'' ''Are you the horse's ears?'' ''No...'' Then the clown got an evil look in his eye as he said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' The whole tent shook with laughter, and Billy cried his eyes out. He couldn't believe a clown made fun of him like that! He swore revenge!

Billy grew up, he went to college, got a job, got married, and had a few kids, but still never forgot what that clown did to him. One morning he saw an ad in the paper for the same circus, and decided to go. He knew the PERFECT insult to get him back! When he told his wife and kids he was going his kids asked if they could goto the circus with him. He calmly said ''No. Daddy has something he needs to do there.'' In the middle of the show, a little car came out and out came about 20 clowns. The crowd cheered, except for Billy. The Leader of the Clowns took a microphone. It was the same Clown! Billy was so excited that he could now get revenge!

The clown asked for a volunteer. Billy calmly raised his hand. The clown picked him! Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown said ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy stayed calm and said ''No.'' The clown asked ''Are you the horse's ears?'' Billy replied ''No.'' Then the clown said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!''

Billy knew his time had come. As the crowd laughed and everyone cheered, his anger grew. Now was the time for revenge. He looked deep into the clown's eyes and said...

''F*ck you, Clown.''

ok, deze heb ik niet

[massy]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ???"

[Tomski]

Two peanuts are walking down a dangerous street
One was a salted

en deze evenmin

[Tomski]

What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling."

[massy]

ok, deze heb ik niet

Lange lange lange mop, wachten op de punch line en dan tot de vaststelling komen dat je 3 minuten hebt gelezen aan een hele slechte mop.

[Gast]

Een van m'n alltime favorites

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